Spanx you very much

I bought some Spanx (a Spanx?) a while ago and wore them once. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Spanx, they come in various forms and mine just happen to go down to the knees and up to my bra strap. The idea is that they will help you look slimmer and trimmer while smoothing the squishy parts. This only seems to work for people who are already fairly slim and trip and free of squishy parts. When I wore them earlier this week I felt like a bratwurst (probably looked like one too if you can imagine a bratwurst in a dress with snazzy red shoes) and spent the whole day fearing the Spanx would roll down, setting my squishy parts free. If feeling stifled and in fear wasn't enough, it also took twice as much time to use the restroom. Getting the Spanx off wasn't too time-consuming, but pulling them back up and making sure no squishiness was exposed, was not an easy task. Was looking decent worth the discomfort of wearing Spanx? I'm going to have to say "no" to that. Am I going to diet and exercise so I have no need of Spanx? Um, probably not. I'm just going to wait for Mrs. Roper-style kaftans to come back in style or maybe mumus. I think we're almost there really-- have you seen the maxi dress?
Thought for the day-- why does Yahoo! mail get my hopes up by telling me I have new email when I really don't?