Too lazy to write something new

Yes, you may have already seen this, but hopefully it's been a while...
Let This be a Warning

I sent this out to friends and family, it nicely summarizes the laser hair ordeal I went through:
I had my first laser hair removal ordeal yesterday. Yes, it was an ordeal. I'm tempted to use the phrase "laser hair removal attack", but I don't want to frighten anyone. It was not pleasant. I should have known that when you are offered valium prior to a procedure, there's a reason. I was also given a topical numbing lotion to put on some of the areas to be lasered. I should have asked for an epidural and maybe some whiskey.
The first area to be lasered were my underarms. I was zapped and when I didn't flinch, they upped the voltage. Now, I was told that it would feel like I was being snapped with a rubberband. It does not feel like that at all-- it felt like my hair follicles were being electrocuted, probably because they were. I squirmed and whimpered, but figured the worst was over when they were done.
And then, the few stray hairs on my face were zapped. I know areas were zapped that didn't even sprout hair. Those areas certainly won't be producing any hair now. I have never felt so much pain in my entire life. I have not gone through labor, but I did have a kidney stone. I would honestly prefer to have my kidney stone back vs. having laser hair removal on my face. I must confess I yelled an expletive (rhymes with spit) and burst into tears. I cried some more and was able to walk it off. Not only was I thinking how much pain was being inflicted upon me, but I was actually paying to be put through this. If Al Quaeda had their facial hair lasered, they would tell us where Bin Laden is and anything else we might need to know. That might be cruel and unusual punishment though.
I then had to return to the torture room to have the hair follicles in my bikini area and lower legs electrocuted. The bikini area was not nearly as bad as the underarms and face and there were no more tears or expletives yelled. I did practice some lamaze breathing and asked if they'd consider hiring a doolah (or whatever those labor coaches are called) for my next visit. Oh yes, I have to go back five more times. I was assured that the second visit would be about as painful as the first, but that the remaining visits wouldn't hurt that bad. Right. I figured the legs wouldn't hurt too much. I figured wrong. To be honest, there were areas of the legs that smarted, but having hair removed from the shins, knee and ankle area was extremely unpleasant.
Next time I will find someone to take me to my appointment so I can have a double dose of valium. I wonder if I could get some morphine too. Hmmmmm....